Candlebrow University is named for its endower, Gideon Candlebrow, who made his fortune in Smegmo, "an artificial substitute for everything in the edible-fat category, including margarine, which many felt wasn't that real to begin with. An eminent Rabbi of world hog capital Cincinnati, Ohio, was moved to declare the product kosher, adding that 'the Hebrew people have been waiting four thousand years for this. Smegmo is the Messiah of kitchen fats.'"
Did Offenbach really write "From the Halls of Montezuma"?
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